Self-Care Blog Post

Looking For Connections, Not Numbers

Apparently there’s a winning social media formula and I’m not doing it right. I have to say, I’m so pleased to hear that.

Social media in business is different. You have to sign up for one of these courses and learn how to do it the right way or your business is going to fail.

A well-meaning, concerned friend with social media savvy sent that message to me privately. She had been following my getting back to work facilitating groups, freelance writing and website consulting.

It was the best criticism I could have heard. I appreciated her advice, as it inspired a lively conversation about what doing our life’s work means to each of us. Her advice helped me become more solid and assured as I move forward in my work. But probably not in the way she intended.

Apparently there’s a winning social media formula and I’m not doing it right.

I have to say, I’m so pleased to hear that.

I’m reminded that my life’s work, professionally and personally, isn’t about how many likes, shares or follows I get. Insights and numbers are not my priorities.

Social media is a tool for communication, not a source of self-worth.

What matters to me is showing up to life as it is with whatever tools I have to be of best service in the world, whatever that looks like at any given time. (It changes. Often.) It’s simply about being present wherever and however I’m needed in this world. Listen. Be kind. Be gracious. Be well myself so that I can give freely to others.

How do I know how I can best be of service in the world? Regular, conscious connection with my source of compassion, kindness, understanding, respect, right living.

Solitude and stillness is where I find the deepest connection. Practice introspection and reflection regularly. Dedicate time each day, free of distraction. Find selflessness and self-forgetting through mindful acts of presence. Cultivate inner silence so, when it is time to move forward into the world, I move forward with helpfulness wherever I go.

Including social media.

Social media isn’t always the best way to connect.

With mild traumatic brain injury (MTBI), social media and technology can be challenging for me at the best of times. I sometimes get confused and overwhelmed easily with what to press, where to click, how to post. Some days are clearer than others. It’s actually been quite funny and entertaining at times. I’ve unfriended people by accident, posted personal messages on public pages, and have had a whole bunch of other oops moments.

How important is it to my life’s work, really?

What fits for me is showing up where I can, offering the best I can to others, laying out what I can offer on the table. What other people do with it is their business, not mine. It doesn’t matter to me if 100,000 people see this post. I’m only concerned with putting it here so if that one person comes across it who needs to read it, it’s here for them.

I am feeling out my presence on social media as I go along, paying attention to the very things I teach – mindfulness and self-care. Seeing what I’m able to do and where my boundaries are. Sometimes I’m enjoying inspiration, and other times am bumping into challenges. It’s all part of a healthy worklife.

I use social media to share what I’m offering in the world, nothing more. It’s that simple.

I’m not looking to build numbers, I’m looking to build connections.

I’d rather have less income generated from a spirit of being helpful than more income driven by shame and fear.

If that means I’m not doing social media right, I’m more than good with that.

Deep peace.

THE CONVERSATION: Let's Talk About Looking For Connections, Not Numbers

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